Saying goodbye.

zOld age and Alzheimer's took you from all of us who loved you. But it will never take away all my beautiful memories from me. I didn't make it to say my last goodbyes, but I would had rather remember you.Talking to me the last time I saw you.
But after awhile a goodbye is needed for closure. So that's how I felt.

Yrs and miles later, I finally got to say goodbye. And it hurt. But at least I got my closure. And I know you ain't in no more pain. Your very much alive in my heart and thoughts. Ha ha I see you yelling at us, los muchachos y a mi. For talking and playing with our beans during lunch at your house. Or making us coffee con pan or them little red donuts. You where awesome. You had actual china, tiny ones and let us use them while the grownups sat around drinking theirs and bochinchando.
If there is a Heaven or I know Guelo was there waiting for you.
And I know your happy. Right before I left. All you did was talk about him. How you swore he was in the kitchen and needed me to help you get up. To make his lunch for work.You had no idea who I was due to Alzheimer's. Yet you never forgot your true love.
I miss you grandma, your the best. Will always be. Love you!

Prostate Cancer

Prostate cancer is cancer that starts in the prostate gland. The prostate is a small, walnut-sized structure that makes up part of a man's reproductive system. It wraps around the urethra, the tube that carries urine out of the body.

What is prostate cancer? Prostate cancer occurs when cells in the prostate gland grow out of control. It can spread into other areas and kill normal tissue.
There are often no early prostate cancer symptoms, but when they do appear, symptoms of locally advanced prostate cancer (cancer that has grown through the outer rim of the prostate and into nearby tissue) include:
Waking up many times during the night to urinate.
Having trouble starting your urine stream, having a weaker-than-normal stream, or not being able to urinate at all.
Having pain or a burning feeling when you urinate. Having blood in your urine.
Having a deep pain or stiffness in your lower back, upper thighs, or hips.

Symptoms of metastatic prostate cancer ( Cancer that has spread, or metastasized, to the lymph nodes or other parts of the body) may include:
Bone pain. Weight loss. Swelling in your legs and feet.

Men aged 50 years and older should undergo a yearly digital rectal examination and blood testing for prostatic specific antigen (PSA).
Men in the high-risk group, such as those with a family history of prostate cancer or of African American ethnicity, should begin screening as early as age 40 years.

A biopsy is the only way to know for sure that you have Prostate Cancer.
Prostate cancer treatment options are surgery, chemotherapy, cryotherapy, hormonal therapy, and/or radiation. Age, race, diet, even family history may all play a part in contributing to your prostate cancer risks.

Taking time to visit and talking with your doctor. Is well worth it, when it comes to saving your life.I lost my grandfather to this disease. My uncle is a survivor and as for my father,sadly has the last stages of prostate cancer.

The joy to live life again.

Things are far from perfect, but I love where I am today. I remember the day that I woke up from a horrible dream. Experiencing so many things. No busted lips, swollen or bruised body parts. No trips to the hospitals.
Today I smile like never before.
No more being mentally, physically,emotionally or sexually abuse. No more sleepless nights or crying myself to bed. Sadly it took the age of 27 to slowly start waking from that nightmare.
Today is all about me. I love me and that's what matters. And man, doing me is the best feeling ever. It wasn't about finding myself. It was about re-inventing myself.
Letting go was the best decision Ive ever made.
Time does fly. And its sad to let it go to waste.Some of us get more than one chance. And some of us dont. I cant no longer let it go to waste. I was fortunate to get more than one. And now that I'm awake, I have to make the best of it.

I once told someone that some of us are like flowers. Delicate and need tender care. Once thats gone, just like a true flower. We wither and die.
Sometimes the seed is left behind and another beautiful flower takes its place. This time, it takes for someone else who is willing to truly care to take its place.
This Rose was on the edge of dying and slowly it flourish.

Nothing but smiles.
Dont get me wrong, the healing is still in progress.But from 2008 until this very day, there has been so many changes for the better.

Stronger

Who would of thought that I would be the person that I am today. Today I am stronger. And I do what I have to, to keep my mind of my past. No matter what it might take. That is a place I would never end up in.
The gym is my home away from home. I once became someones punching bag. Today I am the one who hits the bags. It really makes a difference. Just to be able to relieve that stress, all that anger. It really feels like the weight that held you down, truly is slowly been lifted. Kicking and punching that bag or pads is something that I enjoy. There's nothing wrong in preparing yourself.